More celebrities have died this month (let alone this week) than any other I can remember. A-Listers, too. David Carradine's death was the most bizarre, of course, Ed McMahon was this year's recipient of the Mother Theresa Award for being older than dirt at passing time, Farrah Fawcett was a reminder that all beautiful things must also pass on (OHGOSHTHEPOSTER), and Michael Jackson is probably the most widely mourned star this side of Princess Diana. Billy Mays tragic death, however, has got to be the most ironic. Why? Because somebody will probably think of an invention to keep other people from having luggage in a plane's overhead storage bin fall on their heads (what did in Mr. Mays). And who is that person?

ME!

Introducing the Plexiglass See-thru Storage Bin! Install these in your Airline company's 747's so that passengers can see where in the bins their luggage is positioned, this way they can assess the likelihood of something falling out. Wondering if your 5-pound barbell is sitting on a slanted 3-ring binder, just waiting to roll out once the compartment door is opened? Curious if your vile of Carbonic Acid that you smuggled onboard is tettering on the edge of spillage onto a stewardess' head as she reaches up to find a pillow? Wonder No More! Keep an eye on your stuff as it sits above you, and take note of anything that shifts during turbulent flights, because we all know that enough turbulence can ruin even the best attempts at packing overhead bins to make them fall-proof.  but if you call now, in the next 10 minutes (because we can't do this all day) we will throw in the tilt sensor-the only laser-powered alarm that senses when luggage is dangerously tilted and notifies you with a 99 decibal beep-for FREE! Shipping and Instillation is also on us, so you only owe 5 easy payments of $3499.95! (plus tax). The Plexiglass See-Thru Storage Bin-the Safest Form Of Travel Just Got a Little Safer! (patent pending, sorry, no CODs, offer not valid in China or Alabama, no warranties, must be at least 21 to order, not for use in storing the following items: cats, dogs, gerbils, hamsters, guinea pigs, titmice, woodpeckers, cockroaches, white swallows, guns, knives, eights, fives, husbands, wives, sour cream, chives, nests, hives, deaths, lives, jumps, dives, wails, jives, ceramic monkeys, porcelain clowns, infants over the age of eleven months, organs [both bodily and musical], guitars, drums, basses, saxophones, flutes, oboes, shoehorns, boots, sandals, stockings, panty hose, swimming trunks, elephant trunks, elephant ears, Elephant, the 4th album by the White Stripes, medication, turnips, parsnips, asparagus, licorice, head lice, head cheese, head bands, head aches, head trips, head trauma, historical and religious documents, human remains, tea cups, tea bags, tea leaves, tea spoons, tea trees, tea strainers, black tea, green tea, white tea, orange tea, tea parties, tea times, tea and crumpets, TV, feminine napkins, deodorant and aluminum foil.)  

MADE IN GERMANY